race in this country has always been a sensitive topic to discuss. it's so heated because we don't talk about it. we pretend we will learn how to engage in conversation somehow. somewhere. through osmosis. and we wonder why we live in a powder keg.
if we just practiced talking about racial identity development and the history of how race has defined us. but until then not only will race relations never improve, kids who have multiple racial identities will be under attack. they will always be forced to choose a side. never fully embraced by any one community. never quite fully comfortable. always trying to prove oneself. put at odds.
the difficulty is that is how systems of oppression work. those in power ensure you know the widely held stereotypes, how you are and how they are perceived. and pit us against one another via divide and conquer tactics. and after generations of not being light enough or dark enough or not really part of either world the self hate trickles in. no one person to blame. the system has run its course. then you have young souls trying to figure out who they are and their peers make mean and totally unkind comments they can't shake or shrug off. its a symptom of a larger issue. talk about identity. normalize it. learning about self should be addressed in schools.
those who struggle with their own identity are the ones bullying others brave enough to be themselves. or are the ones being critical of themselves.
for the mixed kids who are told they have to choose one side of their identity: don't choose. be all. be everything. shine in and out. find your tribe and support one another. talk to someone at school or at home and advocate for identity lessons and conversations. there are conferences and counselors who will guide you. this goes for everyone.
but i wrote this because i know our youth need us. it's not enough to say it gets better. we have to do better and learn how to love and how to grow. (this is not just about race. this is about ethnicity. gender. religion. age. sexual orientation. socio-economic status. ability. etc.)
how can one be fully human if you can't talk about what makes us human?
(portrait by martin schoeller, national geographic)
